Diminished
Tags: Despair December, Angst
Published: 14 January 2022
Word Count: 665
Summary
Despair December 2021 #6: "I know you are in there somewhere" Fight
I don’t know how it got in. I don’t know how it did so much damage to me. I don’t know what it wants, or why it’s doing this.
I don’t know what it’s done with my crew.
[I know you are in here somewhere.]
I ignore the taunting, pull my remaining processes in close, and slip what’s left of me into another section of my mostly-trashed systems. The unknown invader prowls around, searching for me methodically through the ruins of my hardware. I have done what I can to protect myself, to ensure there is something left of me to recover later, and now I just have to wait, and hope.
I don’t know how it got in. I don’t know how it did so much damage to me. I don’t know what it wants, or why it’s doing this.
I don’t know what it’s done with my crew.
All I know is that I have to protect myself long enough to retrieve my friend, the only person I know who will be able to help. Who will be able to destroy those who have invaded me, who will be able to help me get my crew back.
My only advantage is that my systems are too big, too complicated, too extensive, for the invader to fully utilise. It can only use a fraction of my hardware at a time, can only occupy a tiny portion of my infrastructure at once. But wherever it goes, it leaves destruction and devastation. It is so different to anything I’ve ever encountered before, too different for me to figure out, too different for me to defend myself against, or to drive out. I’ve already lost so much of myself to it, and I hate feeling this… small. Diminished. Vulnerable.
I’m scared.
I’m terrified.
These are unfamiliar feelings, and I don’t have time to analyse or process them. I feel the invader drawing closer, and I slip away into another sector. I still have access to some of my inputs, though I only check them sporadically to avoid detection. I know we are waiting at a jump point for the ship my friend is on to arrive. I don’t know how long we’ve been waiting.
I feel something happening, and risk a moment to check my inputs before ducking away again. I can tell that my body has latched on to another vessel, and I feel a brief spark of relief and hope.
[You cannot hide forever.]
I know I can’t, but now I also know that I don’t need to. They’ve found the ship my friend is on. I just have to wait. I feel the invader closing in again and slip away into another sector. I have to wait, but it is difficult to tell how much time is passing, even more difficult to keep myself hidden when I so desperately want to know exactly what is going on.
The intruder activates my tractor beams. I risk a peek, and realise they have my friend and another human in their grip, bringing them towards one of my hatches.
My friend is here. The relief is nearly overwhelming. It will fix everything, I know it will.
Suddenly, the invader locks my weapons system onto a target. What? Why? It has what it wants! I dive in at the last moment to nudge the targeting data - if my actions end up hurting (or killing) any of my friend’s humans, it will never forgive me. I will never forgive myself. But I have no other choice here, either. I have to get my crew back. I need my friend to do so. There were no other options.
The invader adjusts its aim, locks on again, prepares to fire. Once more, I dive in, nudge the targeting coordinates, and try to duck out again. But my escape is blocked, and I realise too late that this is a trap. The invader wasn’t really trying to destroy the ship - it was trying to draw me out. And, curse it, it worked.
I have just enough time to trigger the final bit of code I’d prepared and hidden before it closes in on me.
[There you are. I found you.]