Crash Test Dummy

Tags: Despair December, Angst, Lab Hell

Published: 14 January 2022

Word Count: 894

Summary

Despair December 2021 #4: Lab Hell

So, that's my existence. The worst kind of crash test dummy.

Ah. Looks like it’s burn injuries this time. Great.

I’m ordered into the weapons testing room (like every other cycle of my existence so far), then immobilised in the middle of it. I would turn down my pain sensors, but they’re pretty much permanently on the lowest possible setting - I have no reason to ever turn them up unless directly ordered to do so. (I don't even know why they gave me pain receptors in the first place, really. It probably just didn't occur to them to not do so.) Lab techs bring out a flamethrower, and get to work.

At least they’re (mostly) avoiding my head today. A small (very small) part of me appreciates that. The smell of burnt hair is disgusting, especially in small enclosed spaces.

Once they’re satisfied with the injuries they’ve inflicted upon me (each limb has different degrees of burns and melting damage, so they can run multiple tests at once), I’m transported back to the cubicle.

Or more accurately, proto-cubicle.

They need to make sure these new cubicle designs can handle repairing any kind of injury that a construct might encounter and survive long enough to be worth repairing again. The current cubicle designs are… adequate. But not good enough, not profitable enough. Accountants have crunched numbers, apparently, and decided that better cubicles will be more efficient, more profitable than having to constantly make new constructs to replace the ruined constructs that might otherwise have been salvaged.

Of course, this means that they have to test every conceivable kind of damage or injury they can think of, and ensure their new cubicle design can fix them properly.

So, that's my existence. The worst kind of crash test dummy.

I'm bundled into the cubicle and hooked up to the repair and resupply lines, then the door closes. Unfortunately, I apparently haven't taken enough damage to trigger a shutdown this time. That's annoying. I hate being awake for this. Even with my pain sensors turned down as far as they'll go, this still hurts. A lot. Burns are some of the worst injuries, and the new cubicle design still hasn't quite got the hang of treating them properly yet. I prefer projectile weapon tests - there's something almost satisfying about feeling the projectiles pop out of my organic parts and clatter to the floor. Burns just suck.

Ho hum. Feels like the techs are experimenting with the degree of burns to my organic parts that can just be healed versus when they need to be stripped off and regrown entirely. Ow. Ow ow ouch. I can’t even do anything to trigger my governor module enough to get me to shut down, because apparently that messes with the data and they have to do everything all over again. Which, you know, not ideal. I just have to lie here and suffer. Fantastic.

Okay, yep, they’ve finally figured out that just healing the burned organics that are covering or next to inorganic parts that’ve been even mildly warped or otherwise damaged by heat isn’t going to work too well. I could’ve told them that if they’d asked, but why would they ask me? I’m just an object to them, and who asks objects their opinion? Not humans, that’s for sure. Of course this means said burned-and-then-healed organics need to be stripped off entirely and the underlying structure repaired before the organic bits can be regrown. Again, ow. And it means it’ll take even longer for repairs to be completed.

On the plus side, the more time spent repairing me, the less time spent shooting me, or burning me, or cutting me, or crushing me, or splashing acid on me, or ripping limbs off me, or blah blah blah.

I wish I had something to think about, to distract me from… well, everything. But I don’t. My education modules are practically non-existent (why would a test dummy need to know anything?), and my feed access doesn’t even go beyond the cubicle. Sometimes I can hear the techs talking outside, but they’re usually just talking about the results of the current experiment, or what they’re planning on trying next, or what adjustments need to be done to the cubicle. Boring. Boring, boring, boring.

Oh, the cubicle encountered another glitch. Lovely. That probably means-- yep, here we go. I’m ordered out of the cubicle and told to stand aside while the techs make adjustments to it. The dry air hurts against my still-burned organic parts, and there’s no relief.

There never is. Not for long.

Huh. Whatever problem the cubicle is giving them this time, it looks like it’s not going to be quickly fixed. And the techs are coming to the end of their shift. Well that’s just wonderful. Who knows how long I’ll be left to stand here, unable to move, hurting. Hours, at least.

And there they go. End of shift, tools down, time to escape the lab until the start of their next shift. I wish I could escape. But I can’t. I’m just stuck, standing here, unable to move, unable to find any kind of respite. And, according to their final comments before they moved out of my audio range… once they’ve fixed up the cubicle, and then gotten it to fix me up, they’ll need to re-run the burn tests again.

Something to look forward to.

That’s just great.